Legacy

A few days ago I was watching a show on the History Channel about the last days of the Third Reich and HItler. In those last days of Hitler's life, he wasn't worried about the destruction of Berlin by the Russians. Hitler wasn't concerned about the loss of life by his soldiers or fellow countrymen. He told his generals to leave Berlin if they wanted to leave. The purpose was not to save their life but for his own legacy. He wanted to be viewed as standing alone at the end, as the brave and noble captain going down with his ship. He was trying to script his legacy.

For Hitler, he spent his life trying to gain power, trying to splinter a nation against the Jews, trying to eliminate anyone different than him, conquering the world. Acts of cruelty and brutality were the norm. His despicable life was his legacy not the scripted end of his life.

A few weeks ago I wrote about my father and described his last days. Today I'd like to share his legacy. My Dad was an average man of the time who thought that working long hours made him a good provider. When I look back on my early years I wish that he had been more involved in my life. As I got older my Dad became better at expressing love in a very practical way. My brother got into trouble all the time and repeatedly my Dad would come to his rescue. It didn't matter what Bruce had done, Dad was there and 100% on his side.

Our family had a serious car accident in which me and my mom went through the windsheild of our old Chrysler. We were in bad shape, especially my Mom. My Dad had a nasty gash on his arm that required 20 or 30 stitches but he refused care until me and Mom were attended to. That my friend is love beyond measure. In essence he was saying forget about me, take care of them, they are the important ones.

When I got older I did things that he didn't approve of and guess what? That man ALWAYS loved me without any conditions. My actions were irrelevant to his love. He was a big, hairy, gruff man with a heart. A man's man who knew how to love.

Whenever you start thinking about your last days on earth, don't. Think about today. Do you want to leave a legacy? Show love regardless of the situation. It will make an impact on your family and the people around you.

Ron

A New Halloween Costume

So my older sister is having a Halloween party this year and I have (get) to dress in costume. Of course everyone will be expecting a superhero costume from me. They will expect to see me in my Batman mask, black cape and maybe a grapple hook or two. If not the Dark Knight they will expect Superman, Spider-man, Joker, Captain America, Mr. Fantastic. But I'm going for something different this time.

Let's go old school. Frankenstein *pronounced Frank-in-steeeeen* There are actually some interesting Frankenstein costumes out there.

Frankenstein looking like Frank Sinatra

http://www.costumeexpress.com/Big-Frank-Adult-Costume/61165/ProductDetail.aspx

Traditional Frankenstein

http://www.costumeexpress.com/Universal-Studios-Monsters-Frankenstein-Plus-Adult-Costume/17688/ProductDetail.aspx

Take a look at the cartoon shoes, a little goofy. But still there is nothing like going all Boris Karloff 1931 on everyone. Now I just need someone to say...

Look it's moving. It's alive. It's alive...It's alive. It's moving. It's alive, it's alive, IT'S ALIVE!

Not sure how I feel about being called "it" but these days everyone has to make sacrifices.

FrankenRon

I've been wanting to see Where the Wild Things are for a week now, so last night we went to see it. In case you are thinking about taking the entire family, it's not for young kids. Yes, I know a kid book that's not for kids but that's the way it is.

In the book Maurice Sendak did a great job of capturing what a little boy thinks. The movie thankfully is the same way. Childhood can be a little scary with uncertainty, trying to fit in, bullying, and the threat of the world ending. This movie and the leading actor, Max Records, embody childhood fears. Most movies with kids show the kids as perfect and somehow always teaching the adult something. unrealistic. This movie with it's giant creatures shows a more realistic child.

One line is something like "well I have a double crack finder and that's the best there is and it can break through any metal in the whole wide universe." If you have a boy you know that's an all boy line.

Visually this is a beautiful film with large woods, deserts and ocean scenes. The monsters are a little scary, a little naive, and a little loving. Sometimes the scenes with the monsters mirror Max's life at home. I won't go into detail in case you haven't seen the movie.

Overall it's a great movie that I recommend to anyone who wants to remember childhood.

Ron

Parent Teacher School Conference

This week I attended my daughter, Mallory's, school conference. She lead the meeting with me while the teacher talked to another parent in the room. Mallory has all A's in the gifted program. (proud dad) I keep telling Mal that she has boring report cards, but that we will take them. Mallory wrote a sweet note to me about how she viewed her Dad. It's one of those things that she was making excuses for but that I'll definitely keep. I met Mallory's teacher and she was super nice and held some insight about Mal. It's always nice when they say that they wish the rest of the class was like your daughter. There were two things that were interesting about this conference.

The first is that my daughter is being picked on because she is so small for her age. There are always comments about her size from larger kids (everyone but 1 other kid). But this bullying is taking on a meaner tone. A girl in her class is just rotten to Mallory. This girl was looking for someone to play a game of checkers with and no one would play with her. Mallory felt sorry for her and said that she would play. The girl replied, "I won't play if I have to play with you." She has said awful things to Mallory, she has ripped things out of her hand, she has pushed her desk so close to Mallory that it was pushing in on her belly and hurting her. She has threatened Mallory and is just mean. So on Mallory's meeting with me she brought that up, it was written on Mallory's notes. Worst thing about 6th grade - "The devil, this girl's name, upsets me because lately I've been hearing her talk behind my back to Gena and others"

I wanted to bring this problem up with the teacher because they recently adjusted the seating chart and put this girl right beside Mallory. (This is a common technique for teachers to put problem kids by some of the best behaved kids.) Anyway I wanted the teacher to see what Mallory had written. When I showed the teacher Mallory's notes and the "devil" comment she didn't blink or think it was strange. She said, "yeah, I can see that with her". I thought to myself, "wow, you think she is a devil too." Beyond defending your kids and keeping them safe, it is so important that you build your kids up because there are other kids trying to tear them down. I think Mallory is amazing, incredibly smart, cute beyond measure, sweet to a fault. By the way we also spoke with the principal about this bullying.

The other thing that came up in the conference was a paper with suggestions for parents. This will blow you away....

If you child says... "how do you spell______?"

you are supposed to say..."Use your inventive spelling."

If you child says... "Does that really spell______?"

you are supposed to say..."It's close. Remember the neat thing about inventive spelling is you're always right."

Ok, we are talking about 6th grade gifted students and you want me to tell them to use INVENTIVE SPELLING? Are you insane? There is a right and a wrong way to spell something. (period) Their boss won't accept inventive spelling when they get older. Non crazy teacher's won't accept inventive spelling either. If you are talking about creative writing or artwork or some other form of creativity there isn't a right or wrong but with spelling??? With spelling there is a right and a wrong. Wouldn't it make more sense to say, write out all your thoughts and then go back over it with spell check? I think that is much better than making them think they can make crap up and that I'll accept it. Rant over.

Ron

Why I'm in Milwaukee -

Yesterday I mentioned on this very blog that I was in Milwaukee Wisconsin for a few days, now for the reason. Stay with me, I have to go back a little bit. About a year ago my wife started having all kinds of medical issues. She had times where her vision collapsed into puddles of colors or turned into tunnel vision. This is scary especially when she was driving. She had tremors that shook the fork in her hand while we sat at the dinner table. She started having migraines and sensitivity to light. After numerous doctor visits we were told in April that she had Chiari's Malformation. Chiari's is when you brain starts sliding out of your skull toward your spinal column. This is typically found in small babies and in rare cases with adults.

In May her symptoms started getting worse. She was losing her balance, tripping, getting dizzy walking through the grocery store. She even got lost on a very familiar road. (that really worried me) We were told in May that her Chiari's herniation was 20mm, which is very large for this sort of thing. But working in her favor was that the base of her skull was more open than most people. Regardless this is a serious, serious issue that had to be taken care of. After several tests it was determined that she also had sinus issues so we were referred to the Mayo Clinic in Minnesota.

In August we were STILL trying to set up an appointment with Mayo. We decided that a local hospital could handle her sinus surgery for a deviated septum and to remove sacs of infection. She did fine during that surgery but the recovery was painful. After repeatedly not hearing back from Mayo or getting put off we decided to find another option for her Chiari's.

Indiana has no hospitals or clinics who specialize in Chiari's. Most of the time Tina would go to an appointment and know more than the neurogist about Chiari's. That's sad folks. So here we are in October at Milwaukee. Milwaukee has a hospital that specializes in Chiari's treatment. We are here for 2 days, Tina is undergoing a battery of tests, MRI's, etc to see what they can do. At 12:30 today we meet with the doctors to discuss her condition and possible treatments or surgeries.

Online is a great place to get information but sometimes the information you get isn't what you want to see. I saw what the Chiari's surgery looks like and it seems like a medival torture routine. If she has to have this surgery they will cut pieces out of the back of her skull. Inside they will form a pocket to hold the Chiari's hernation in place. It's not fun stuff but it's why I'm in Wisconsin in October.
Ron

Appreciation Day -
After a serious bout with the flu (I believe it was H1N1) I'm feeling human again. Sunday morning I jumped around, sang a song or two, smiled until my face felt like it was going to crack. Life is good my friend. Even something as minor as a 4 day flu can make you appreciate your health. Take a breath and enjoy your health.

In my positive mood I'd like to tell you about a lady I meet today. I'm in Milwaukee, Wisconsin today and tomorrow staying in a Hilton.(that's a different story that I'll share tomorrow) While I was sitting here working on one of my websites, someone knocks on the door. It's housekeeping. She was a 50 something year old black woman with a round face and a smile. As she worked around me, she was all smiles. We talked for a while about Milwaukee, the hotel, and her attitude. She was easy to laugh, fun to talk to and kept that infectious smile.

Here's her story - She has worked at this hotel for 30 years as a housekeeper. She would like to retire but can't afford to so she has no plans to retire soon. All of the rooms that she cleans look exactly alike. There's a meeting about changing the bed spreads today and she's excited about that. She has friends who have worked in this same hotel for 35+ years. Her parents were happy people too. Her kids are too.

Honestly, if I had her job I'd be cutting my wrists within a week. Looking at 100 rooms that were exactly same, changing the same towels, making the same bed 100 times everyday would bore me to tears. I'd feel like I was stuck in an episode of Groundhog's day. But this wonderful lady was so happy. She saw the positives in life. Her life wasn't great but she savored the good moments, the good friends and the family.

I want to be like that. I want to see the joy and happiness in an average day. I want to enjoy the silly things that kid's say. Someday, I want to be an old man with big smile lines. I want to "be content in whatever the circumstances".

Ron

Today is a day of history in my family -
I don't have a lot of funny today. The first part of October always gets me thinking. Several years ago on October 7th, it was a lazy Sunday morning and I was still working out the cobwebs. My mom called me frantic. She kept saying in a screaming, crying voice,
"your fathers dead. Your fathers dead"
“What are you talking about mom?” I tried calming her down.
“Your father’s dead. Someone from the Bargersville Flea Market just called and said he’s dead.” My mom relayed without calming one bit.
“He’s in Bargersville?” Making sure before I took off.
“Yes.”
“I’ll call you when I find out, Mom.” With that I told my wife, jumped in the car and broke every traffic rule in Indiana. I passed people on the right side of the road, I ran red lights and honestly didn’t care if I got in a wreck. I held hope that my Mom or the Bargersville informant was exaggerating.

Sliding my Geo Storm to a stop in the gravel I jumped out. Immediately I could feel that all the spectators were looking at me. Not angry because I had thrown gravel in their direction but with sympathy.
I tried to retain some composure as I asked the crowd “Where’s my dad?”
Someone pointed to the ambulance and a few others said “In there”. I threw the doors open on the ambulance and saw two men working on my father.
“Hey, what are you doing?” an angry paramedic asked me.
“That’s my Dad.”
His tone and expression changed instantly “Oh. You don’t really need to be in here. We are doing our best to revive him.” With that he escorted me out and told me some babble about his heart stopping for several minutes and after 3 times with the paddles they were able to get his heart going again. I said "thanks". Then the ambulance left.

I stood there in the dust with a crowd of people trying not to stare at me but staring anyway. I was the train wreck that you can't take your eyes off. A policeman came up and gave me my father’s gun which he carried in his pocket. He didn't want to do the paperwork for the gun. A gentleman with nice intentions gave me the keys to my dad’s truck and his green and maroon shirt that the paramedics cut off him. Numbly, I got in my car and started driving to the hospital. Before the first stop light I was crying. My Dad’s dead. I smelled his shirt and it was really him.

At the hospital I called the family and gave them the horrible news. In the sterile environment of a hospital his brain had stopped but his heart kept going. After 3 days the hospital pronounced him dead, heart and mind. It was October 10th.

Early that morning my Dad had set up at a flea market in Bargersville, south of Indianapolis. He was sitting on the back of his old truck selling random junk to strangers when he had a major heart attack. He fell into the gravel and never woke up again. He usually set up next to an ER nurse but on that day the nurse was gone. There's no other way to look at it than to say it was his time to go.

I don't like to dwell on the negative though, I think about the last time we talked. We sat in the kitchen and talked about flea markets, life, and family for about an hour. He gave me a Banana Splits thermos, we hugged and exchanged “I love you’s”. That last talk has made these years since much more bearable. Remember that when you talk to your family the next time, especially if they make you mad. There’s no going back…..

Yesterday we went to an Indianapolis Colts game. I'd mention the competition but it wasn't really competition, sorry Seattle. Seattle was hurt in critical positions and the Colts were on fire. Since the game was rarely close I noticed something else, official sponsors. Apparently the Colts have official sponsors for everything.

Verizon - Official WIRELESS service provider (leaving room for a wired service provider)
Toyota - Official vehicle of the Indianapolis Colts
Papa John's - Official Pizza of the Indianapolis Colts
Meijer - Official Supercenter of the Indianapolis Colts (not grocery store...supercenter)
Speedway - Official convenience store of the Colts (Not kidding)
Ray's Trash - Official waste service of the Colts
and many, many more

I'd like to offer the Colts a few more products to endorse -
Lenscrafters - Official eyeglasses of the Indianapolis Colts (for the referees)
Vagisil - Official feminine itch product of the Indianapolis Colts
Mucinex - Official expectorant and cough suppressant for the Indianapolis Colts.

I understand the Colts need to make money on advertising but sometimes it's too much. Here are a few pictures of the game not the advertisers.






Me, Tina, Kelly and Scott at their house before the game. Oh yeah there is one more picture that is pretty funny. Reggie Wayne did a short route for a touchdown and I "thought" that I captured the picture. Apparently I didn't thanks to the big headed fellow in front of me